Inside The Mind of Jax Teller

Photo Credit: Youtube Screenshot

A compilation of Jax Teller’s deepest thoughts and feelings. I believe Jax was writing all of these thoughts down for his sons Abel and Thomas.

Could it be possible that Kurt Sutter is planning on using this as a starting point for a Sons of Anarchy sequel? Where Abel and Thomas stumble upon their father’s journal? Or did Jax burn his journal along with John Teller’s journal during the season 7 finale episode? So many unanswered questions.

“It’s hard not to hate…. people, thing, institutions, when they break your spirit and take pleasure in watching you bleed… hate is the only feeling that makes sense… but I know what hate does to a man, it tears him apart, turns him into something he’s not, something he promised himself he’d never become… that’s what I need to tell you, to let you know how hard I’m trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things I feel in my heart…. sometimes my life feels like a deadly balancing act, what I feel slamming up against what I should do, impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain…. when I look at my day I realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before, in that life I have no future, all I have is distraction and remorse…. I buried my best friend three days ago, and as cliché as this sounds I left a part of me in that box, a part of me I barely knew, a part i’ll never see again…. everyday is a new box boys you open it, you take a look at what’s inside… you’re the one that determines whether it’s a gift or a coffin.” – Jax Teller

Photo Credit: Youtube Screenshot

“Something happens at around 92 miles an hour – thunder-headers drown out all sound, engine vibrations travels at a heart’s rate, field of vision funnels into the immediate and suddenly you’re not on the road, you’re in it. A part of it. Traffic, scenery, cops – just cardboard cutouts blowing over as you past. Sometimes I forget the rush of that. That’s why I love these long runs. All your problems, all the noise, gone. Nothing else to worry about except what’s right in front of you. Maybe that’s the lesson for me today, to hold on to these simple moments. Appreciate them a little more – there’s not many of them left. I don’t ever want that for you. Finding things that make you happy shouldn’t be so hard. I know you’ll face pain, suffering, hard choices, but you can’t let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that love you. Run to them. There’s an old saying, ‘That what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’ I don’t believe that. I think the things that try to kill you make you angry and sad. Strength comes from the good things – your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that’ll keep you whole. Those are the things to hold on to when you’re broken.” – Jax Teller

“There will be days when you’ll be forced to make decisions that affect the lives of everyone you love, choices that will change you forever. You reach an age when you realize that being a man isn’t about respect or strength; it’s about being aware of all the things you touch. Children face inward, wallow in their own selfish needs. Men face out, take action on the needs of others. I’m at that place, boys. I’m staring one of those decisions in the face and it looks back at me with historical eyes and it calls me a coward, a killer, a fraud. It wants me to crack, and run from the service of my fate like a broken boy. Today I will not do that. Today, I will be the man my father tried to be. I will make you proud.” – Jax Teller

Related Article: Charlie Hunnam’s Final Farewell To Jax Teller